INT. OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Two executives pace in a large conference room. Following Gnomeo and Juliet’s surprise success, the studio begin to plan for a sequel…

EXECUTIVE 1:
Gnomeo and Juliet. Packed full of charm, fun. A real hit with audiences. There’s clearly an appetite for a sequel. What should we call it?

EXECUTIVE 2:
Should we not think of a plot first?

EXECUTIVE 1:
No, no, no. It’s the name. That’s the hook. Gnome Alone? Gnoman Holiday? Gnome Tomahawk? How about Sherlock Gnomes? Yes! Right, now what made that first film work? I’m pretty sure it was the cast…

EXECUTIVE 2:
But what about the story…?

EXECUTIVE 1:
Let’s get Johnny Depp in. People love him, right? Oh, and how about Mary J. Blige!

EXECUTIVE 2:
We’re going to give her a character, right? Not simply trot her out to sell the song on the credits…

EXECUTIVE 1:
Money talks!

EXECUTIVE 2 (exasperated):
Stop! You’re forgetting about the heart, the tongue-in-cheek humour, the sweet romance of the first film. That’s what made it a hit.

EXECUTIVE 1:
Oh come now! I think our audiences have matured enough – so a story surrounding the kidnapping and murder of gnomes should hit our demographic of under 8s just right.

Plus, let’s stick most of Elton John’s back catalogue in there too. Kids love a bit of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

EXECUTIVE 2 stares in disbelief.

EXECUTIVE 1:
Perfect. Let’s fill in the blanks with some dialogue, useless segues to Chinatown and an art museum, and we’re done.

EXECUTIVE 1 high fives himself. EXECUTIVE 2 slumps into his chair, realising he faces defeat once more.

Sherlock Gnomes is far from the worst children’s movie. However, it is bland and boring making it an unworthy sequel to the cute original.

RATING: 2/5

INFORMATION

CAST: James McAvoy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Emily Blunt, Johnny Depp, Kelly Asbury, Mary J. Blige, Emily Blunt, Julio Bonet

DIRECTOR: John Stevenson

WRITERS: Ben Zazove (screenplay by), Andy Riley (story by), Kevin Cecil (story by), Emily Cook (story by), Kathy Greenberg (story by), Rob Sprackling (based on characters by), John Smith (based on characters by), Andy Riley (based on characters by), Kelly Asbury (based on characters by), Steve Hamilton Shaw

SYNOPSIS: Garden gnomes, Gnomeo & Juliet, recruit renowned detective Sherlock Gnomes to investigate the mysterious disappearance of other garden ornaments.